Monday, November 19, 2007

Idiotic atheist meets bear in woods fantasy

Have any of you received that dumbass “atheist and the bear in the wood story” that is being forwarded around cyberspace usually in the form on an email ? It’s also plastered all over the internet on Xian sites. I did a Google Search and it’s everywhere.

I have received the stupid and annoying atheist/bear forward a couple of times and merely deleted it without response, however, my husband is not one to let these provocations drop and sent back a response to a friend who sent it to him yesterday. His thought is, which I do agree with, if people send shit like this when they know you are an atheist, it is going to provoke a response. (It makes me mad that we are given the label “radical, crazy atheist” whenever we do speak up after being chivvied into some sort of response.)

Here is the story Xians made up that they think is so clever.

An atheist was walking through the woods one day admiring all that evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he was walking along side the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

Turning to look, he saw an 8 ft. grizzly bear beginning to charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. Heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up the bear was right over him, reaching for him with it’s left paw and raising it’s right paw to strike him.


Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.

As a brilliant light shone upon the man a thunderous voice came from all around. “You Deny My Existence For All These Years, Teach Others That I Don”t Exist; And Even Credit Creation To Some Cosmic Accident. Do You Expect Me To Help You Out Of This Predicament? Am I To Count You As A Believer?”

As difficult as it was the atheist looked directly into the light and said “It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?”

“Very Well”, said The Voice.

The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest resumed …. and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: “Lord, thank Thee for this food which I am about to receive.”

My husband had a good response to a friend who sent him this little childlike “fairy tale” yesterday.

For starters, there is NO GOD.


Thirdly, anyone who goes hiking where bears live KNOW that you do not stop and chit chat with bears or try to be their friend. An atheist, unlike Xians who believe in magical protection, would know the rules of hiking concerning encountering wild animals and would “play dead” after tossing your backpack far away from where you are.

Therefore this whole little “joke” is kind of idiotic. This bear/atheist fantasy is a reflection of that programmed belief of xians that atheists are bad people who deserve death simply because they cannot believe in an imaginary friend. It’s a similar type of threat children are given via stories and movies about Santa Claus…if you don’t believe, he won’t visit you and bring you stuff! The non-believing child in films and books is always portrayed as lacking or a “misfit” when the fact is that most children of atheist families are quite happy and enthusiastic about life.

An interpretation about the bear story that a person in a post on another blog said that this only shows that some Xians would love to kill Atheists in the name of their god and shows just how “loving” and “tolerant” these people are of those who do not share their beliefs.

(The cartoon is stolen from a “loving Xian” website.)

(And here is a “lovely” Thanksgiving flash version,The Atheist and Thanksgiving Dinner, a Fairy Tale from the “For Jesus” website.)


CyberKitten said...

My first thought was that the story reflected baddly on the 'Christian' bear who intended to kill and eat another sentient being as well as God for tricking the 'atheist' into that position knowing *exactly* what would happen.

Darwin's Dagger said...

Everyone knows that you don't stop a bear from eating you by turning him into a Christian, you stop him from eating you by turning him into a vegetarian.

T&A said...

Oh brother...

I think my IQ dropped a few points after reading that ridiculous little story!

My question is: What has happened when a "believer" has been attacked by a Grizzly? Did god come to their rescue when they cried out to him? Surely plenty of Xtians have been mauled to death by bears! Well we know a lot were killed by Lions anyway... :)

Tommy said...

The point I would make is that most of us were raised to be religious believers, so almost all of us in a situation like that might reflexively cry out "Dear God!" or something like that. It's just an expression. It doesn't mean that I am actually expecting a god whose existence I denied will come to my aid during a time of distress.