THE TEN COMMANDMENTS:
UPDATED FOR A MODERN AGE
1. Thou shalt shut thy gob when politely asked,
and not drone on endlessly.
2. Thou shalt not use circular arguments,
such as "God exists because the Bible sayeth so,
and
the Bible is True because it is God's Word."
3. Thou shalt notice when thy audience is bored rigid.
(See Commandment 1.)
4. Thou shalt not use a cop-out such as
"God worketh in mysterious ways" when backed into a
corner by thine own convoluted logic.
5. Thou shalt use thine own imagination,
and not just quote from the Bible all the time.
6. Thou shalt not tell atheists what they believe,
nor that thy God loveth them.
7. Thou shalt not get upset by jokes about thy God.
He is big enough and old enough to looketh
after himself.
8. Thou shalt not define how thy God worketh.
Thou canst not know.
9. Thou shalt not state that the Bible is consistent
and hath no contradictions.
Thou wouldst be a
fool to doeth so.
10. Thou shalt not say Grace without also thanking the farmers,
truck-drivers and shopkeepers
who actually did the work required to get your food to the table.
UPDATED FOR A MODERN AGE
1. Thou shalt shut thy gob when politely asked,
and not drone on endlessly.
2. Thou shalt not use circular arguments,
such as "God exists because the Bible sayeth so,
and
the Bible is True because it is God's Word."
3. Thou shalt notice when thy audience is bored rigid.
(See Commandment 1.)
4. Thou shalt not use a cop-out such as
"God worketh in mysterious ways" when backed into a
corner by thine own convoluted logic.
5. Thou shalt use thine own imagination,
and not just quote from the Bible all the time.
6. Thou shalt not tell atheists what they believe,
nor that thy God loveth them.
7. Thou shalt not get upset by jokes about thy God.
He is big enough and old enough to looketh
after himself.
8. Thou shalt not define how thy God worketh.
Thou canst not know.
9. Thou shalt not state that the Bible is consistent
and hath no contradictions.
Thou wouldst be a
fool to doeth so.
10. Thou shalt not say Grace without also thanking the farmers,
truck-drivers and shopkeepers
who actually did the work required to get your food to the table.
1 comment:
Amen. As a christian, I must say I love these 10 commandments!
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