Friday, October 06, 2006

Abducted by aliens? Call now for compensation

Now this is getting REALLY ridiculous! Hope shady lawyers don't start trying this here. Our courts are already clogged with lawsuits for fake injuries and other sorts of fraudulant claims. But suing for alien abduction and assault? This is really going way too far!

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German lawyer hopes to drum up more business by pursuing state compensation claims for people who believe they were abducted by aliens.

"There's quite obviously demand for legal advice here," Jens Lorek told Reuters by telephone on Thursday. "The trouble is, people are afraid of making fools of themselves in court."

Lorek, a lawyer based in the eastern city of Dresden who specializes in social and labor law, said he hoped to expand his client base by taking on the unusual work.

He has yet to win any abduction claims, but says there are plenty of potential clients, noting that extra-terrestrial watchdogs report scores of alien assaults every year.

"These people could appeal for therapies or cures," he said.

Lorek, 41, is pinning his hopes for success on a German law which grants kidnap victims the right to state compensation.

Asked if he was worried he might look ridiculous by seeking justice for clients haunted by aliens, Lorek was unfazed.

"Nobody has laughed about it up until now."


beepbeepitsme said...

I will laugh about now, just so the guy doesn't feel disappointed.

People will try anything to make a few bob. There are no new levels that people will stoop to in order to fraudulently claim compensation.

Except, perhaps - sueing god. Has that been tried yet?

Stardust said...

beepbeep - It's just a matter of time. I wouldn't be surprised if it hasnt been tried yet.

Krystalline Apostate said...

That's somewhat amusing.
Hmmm...What would that be called? AAS (Alien Abduction Syndrome)?
I recall a scene from a show, Babylon 5, where some guy claimed his great-great-grandfather was abducted by an alien race - & he was suing the race in court!

Stardust said...

What would that be called? AAS (Alien Abduction Syndrome)

KA, You might be coincidentally correct about that!

I am so sick of how anyone can sue anyone or group for any reason. Our auto insurance just paid out $7,000 to a con artist who we were in an auto accident a year and a half ago and it was 100% this guy's fault! His insurance paid for our van to be repaired, and yet he still sued us for "serious injury" and wanted $50,000. Well, we helped our insurance company by showing up at all court hearings, and it was clear that this guy wasn't going to stop till he got SOMETHING from our insurance even though he would have lost in the end (however long it took to get to the end since he can keep appealing for 7 years.) The insurance company saw how much they would be spending for lawyers and legal fees over the years so just handed this bastard money just to get rid of him. However,payback is a bitch...he let it slip UNDER OATH that he has been on government disability since 1990 while doing odd jobs for cash...which isn't legal if one is on disability for a work injury. So, his sworn deposition will be sent to proper authorities to investigate further into his illegal collection of government disability compensation as well as maybe not paying taxes on the cash money he made while on disability. Like I said, what goes around comes around.

CyberKitten said...

I presume that some kind of evidence will have to be presented in court for any kind of compensation to be awarded...?

That might be just a bit difficult... [rotflmao].

Stardust said...

cyberkitten, the article says He has yet to win any abduction claims, but says there are plenty of potential clients so I assume that this is just a sleazy lawyer trying to make a buck off of delusional suckers. He doesn't care if his clients win or lose, only that they pay him the money.

Krystalline Apostate said...

KA, You might be coincidentally correct about that!
We can just call them AAS-holes? ;)
Sorry to hear about the insurance huckster.
Why we never got no-fault insurance in CA is irritating.
You probably should've taken the guy on on that Judge Judy show. ;)

Except, perhaps - sueing god. Has that been tried yet?
Win by forfeit.
Good luck getting the deed to all of creation from a non-entity. That'd be a trick indeed.

Stardust said...

Win by forfeit.

KA - good one since gawd never shows up for anything! LOL!

beepbeepitsme said...

RE stardust:

I think I fixed the secular society article, so it should show results now.

Stardust said...

Thanks beep...I will take a look at it!