Sunday, April 06, 2008

For those who take the flood myth literally

Question for Bible literalists: Why did God have to bother Noah to build a humongous ark and run around the planet collecting two of every species of every living thing when God in all of his magical power could have just wiped the Earth completely clean, along with drunken perverted Noah (remember he got drunk and showed his naked self to his sons?) and click his magical fingers and zap everything into existence again? I wonder if a kid has thought to ask that in Sunday School class yet.


Greg said...

lol about the Gawd bringing back everything with a snap. And I doubt anyone has brought that up.

It always mystified me, even when I was - gasp! - a believer - that this gawd person would wipe out everyone except this one family. And the believers would call that "justice". Amazing!

Funny toon by the way, and it DOES explain the dinosaurs extinction! lol

Stardust said...

hi greg, the whole flood thing was kind of pointless if this god was going to leave left-over sinners to carry on the human populations to operate as status quo. Nothing changed except most living things and all vegetation being destroyed, but leaving one little band of sinners didn't make a whole lot of sense. Believers usually don't want to think about that stuff too hard, though.

Doubtful Daughter said...

Wow, I never thought about that! The indoctrination starts so early that by they time kids are school age, they just take it on faith and don't question why it wasn't different. Or if they do question it, they are just told that it is the way it is.

We were told that the more fanciful stories weren't necessarily true. They were parables, stories meant to convey a particular message. I guess when we are young and malleable, we are willing to accept what people of authority tell us.

Darwin's Dagger said...

He could've just zapped the offending human population off the earth rather then drowning a planet full of innocent creatures. Or if he didn't want to make a big show of his power, create a virus that was 100% fatal only to humans and put it in the water supply of every human society on Earth.

And what about sending the Angel of Death to claim every first born Egyptian. A smart God would've sent the angel after every Egyptian soldier. Without an army, would who keep the slaves in Egypt, and who would pursue them after Pharaoh changed his mind? How come I'm so much smarter than God?

Spirula said...

This ones easy. The flood was necessary to create the fossils to fool the Darwinists so God could send more people to hell.

So there.

Spirula said...

Ummm...missing an apostrophe there.

I blame Darwin.

Jason H. Bowden said...

The flood story is sooo stupid, especially when one considers the titanic amount of organisms involved.

Consider the aftermath of the flood. Most organisms would not survive in a devastated wasteland of mud, an ecosystem with only two of each species. Even a fraction of them could not fit on the Ark. And some annoying creatures like mosquitoes have lifespans less than 40d. And if people don't believe in evolution, speed evolution into the respective geographical habitats and species diversity that exists today is out of the question.

These people must have literally no imagination! Perhaps the Baby Jesus used his Baby Jesus powers to speed evolve the eco-sphere. I'm sure that was it.

Tommy said...

Wow, comments from Jason that I agree with! The stars and planets must be in their proper alignment today.

Fundies still manage to find ways to make themselves believe the story no matter what you tell them. In their mind, God can do anything, so if the Bible says he did it that way, then that is how he did it. If he didn't cause all the sinners to spontaneously combust, then it is because he had a reason for doing so.

My favorite was when I did a post about the Noah's Ark story pointing out how the inhabitants of the ark would have been overwhelmed by the need to remove all of the animal waste. Sable Chicken posited that maybe the ark had a "piston" that allowed for the animal waste to leave the ark while another piston brought in fresh air. I responded to her by pointing out that if the ark had contained such a revolutionary device, surely Genesis would have mentioned it. The Noah's ark story has all the marks of having been written by someone who lived on land all his life and did not know the first thing about ocean going vessels. Noah and family would have spent the entire voyage puking their guts out not only from the overpowering smell of animal waste, but also from the motion sickness. Somehow Genesis left out those parts!

Stardust said...

Sable Chicken posited that maybe the ark had a "piston" that allowed for the animal waste to leave the ark while another piston brought in fresh air.

Tommy, sable chicken was a hoot, wasn't she? LOL! She had quite an imagination, just like most fundies.

Jason, you say that fundies have no imagination but I think they have a wild imagination to come up with the stuff they have invented for all these centuries! And followers of other religions, included. Crazy!

Greg said...

I still remember the little sensation there was when someone claimed they found a piece of wood on (I believe) Mount Ararat that could be the leftover piece of the ark!

As if no other wood from that supposed time or even before could have arrived there!

Stardust said...

greg, I remember that. Every time a splinter of wood is found in that region it's PROOF of Noah's ark. Amazing what people choose to believe.