Thursday, March 16, 2006


"Happy events make us happy. Isn't this a simple idea? No, not at all.

Happy events make for happy thoughts, and happy thoughts make us happy. We anticipate something special, something glorious, something exciting and funny, and we are happy. Conversely, we do not think thoughts that are sad, bad, scary, and we are not unhappy. Accordingly, we should not need happy events to make us happy. We should just think happy thoughts. To rely on happy events is a weakness.

Still, to be happy without outside help is something most of us don't know how to do. Unhappy events do sadden us. We must know though, that we can change ourselves, we can work on and improve ourselves. And in working on ourselves, and in improving our ability to think happy thoughts, we will find a special key to happiness."
Avraham Tzvi Schwartz

My husband has this attitude. The only family he has left is myself and our children, and a half brother in another state. He lost his biological father at age six, he lost his mother at age 17 and his step-father at age 18. His mother was an alcoholic, and though she loved him dearly, he had a difficult childhood. We lost our first child via stillbirth, we lost two more via miscarriage. He has been laid off several times in our 30 years of marriage. He lost 18 inches of his colon due to a blood clot. He has been sued by scam artists after a minor traffic accident that wasn't even his fault. He loved to play basketball his whole life and can no longer play because of bum knees and ankles. He can hardly walk some days. Through all of life's difficulties he has always maintained that if he were told he had a terminal illness , he can say he has lead a happy life and has no regrets. When asked "How are you Jon?" His answer is a hearty and robust "Better and Better!" and he MEANS it. He is known for his always smiling face, joking ways and goodheartedness. He has been a strong and positive role model for our children. Though we do feel sad at times, we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and say hey..."THAT'S LIFE and what a good life it is."


JustinOther said...

There are always two choices:

1. Get down on yourself and depressed, or

2. Find the positive (because there's always some positive in everything).

Working in medicine, I see a lot of both. There's nothing nicer to see than someone who's been through a lot of adversity and still smiles and looks at the bright side.

Michael Bains said...

Cool Debbie Stardust! Thanks and Happy Friday!

Stardust said...

Happy Friday to you too John and Michael! Enjoy the weekend! :-D

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm glad that your husband has such a great outlook on life. After everything he's been through... He must be a very strong man. Good for him (and you)!!

freethoughtmom said...

reading your post made me smile :)